When in Doubt
by Storm Princess
Summary: When in doubt, don't go to Raphael.
1. Water Beds and Sneezing Trees

**When in Doubt**

Mike sat in the sewers, staring through a grate at the sky. He was so absorbed in doing so that he jumped slightly when a hand landed firmly on his shoulder.

"Whatcha doin' Mikey?" Raph.

"Raph, what are clouds made of?"

His five year old brother released his shoulder and sat next to him, an almost nonexistent smirk on his face. "Well, you know what a water bed is, right?" at Mikey's nod he continued, "Well, the clouds are the angel's beds. But they're water beds, 'cause they get hot up there with the sun. Sometimes, they need to drain them so they can replace the water, and that's when it rains."

"But, why can't we see them when they sleep?"

Raph rolled his eyes. "'Cause they're invisible, knucklehead!"

Mikey frowned, processing this new information. "Wait, doesn't the sun fry them?"

"Nah." He picked up a quarter, holding it up towards the sun. "See? The sun's about that size."

"But I read that the sun was really big."

Raph rubbed his head playfully. "Well, you can't believe everything you read, Mikey."

"Hey Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't they get blown around when it's windy? I heard some winds go up to sixty miles an hour!"

"Of course not. You know what wind is, right?"

"No, what?"

"It's trees sneezing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And when there's a hurricane, it means they have pneumonia!"

"Wow. You know everything, don't you Raph?"

Raph grinned. "Pretty much, little bro, pretty much."

"My sons." The boys turned to face their Sensei. "It is time for practice. Please come inside." The boys bowed and Raph turned and went inside while Mikey picked up the quarter before following his Sensei. He smiled.

"Someday, I hope I'm as smart as Raph is."

Splinter turned to him warily. "Why, what did he tell you now?"

**The End**


	2. Magic Vacuums and ATMs

**Chapter 2**

"Hey Raph? You pretty much know everything, right?"

Raph looked up from his PSP at his youngest brother, a borderline condescending sneer on his face. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, I was just wondering, how do people get money from ATMs? And how does a garage door opener work?"

Having put his PSP on pause when Mikey walked in, Raph set it down and thought for a moment. "Well, believe it or not, they're actually very similar. When you press the button for a garage door opener, it sends a shock to the little guy that lives in your garage, and he opens the door for you. With the ATMs, you enter the amount of money you want and the dude makes it and sticks it through the slot."

"Hey! Why couldn't we get jobs like that! I mean, we don't have to be seen, and I'll bet the pay is good. I'd be great at that!"

"I'm sure you would be, Mikey."

"Hey Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"How do things like vacuums work? And light bulbs or televisions?"

"Magic."

"Wait, what?"

"Magic."

"But that's what you said when I asked how people got ink in pens!"

"Right. All four of them are magic."

"Then why don't we have to do any weird chants or anything to turn the TV on?"

"Why do think we have remotes, bonehead? It does it for us! But be careful though. Whenever you turn it off, the person on the channel you were watching DIES."

Mikey eyed Raph suspiciously. "Raph, you're not just making this up, are you?"

Raph shrugged and turned back to his game without a second look. "Fine. Don't believe your own brother, who's older and smarter then you."

_Much later…_

Don stuck his head in Mike's room, where his younger sibling was turning the vacuum on and off in fascination. "Mikey, what are you doing?"

"Magic!"

"That's not magic!"

…

**A/N: Credit goes to Bill Watterson for inspiration, basically for the magic idea. It was his originally, but I changed it a little and fleshed it out a bit for the story. I can so see Raph saying that. The story is disclaimed as well. Hope you liked this; I just had to do another :) I might even be doing some more… oh, and the pen thing was for you, Puldoh. Thanks!**


	3. Fool's Silver and Deceitful Penguins

"I have absolutely no idea how you can watch this stuff Mikey."

Mike looked up at his red masked brother, a bit annoyed by the interruption from his 'Monster Mania.' "How can I not? Three hours of pure cheesy film making! It's cool stuff! But I don't get why that one guy said something about duct tape being silvery."

"Considering I'm your older brother I'd think I'd be the last person you'd want to talk to about duct tape."

"I know, I'm just saying-"

"Wait, so you're saying you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"About what people used to think about duct tape!" Raph responded, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Umm, what?"

Raph sat next to his brother and Mikey turned his full attention towards him, the movie forgotten. "Well, you know how there's that fake gold called 'fools gold' right?" At Mikey's nod he continued, "Well, back in the pilgrim's day people were easily amused by shiny objects, so when they discovered duct tape, some people actually thought it looked silvery! Dunno if it was just the town idiot spreading rumors or what, but some people actually didn't know what to think, so it got dubbed 'fools silver'. And the name just stuck ever since."

"Wow. Were people really that stupid?"

Raph rolled his eyes and draped a strong arm around Mikey's shoulders speaking as though revealing a great secret. "Mikey, the people we're talking about used to believe that the earth was flat. They used to think that the farthest technology would go would be the bicycle. And heck, even though they love heroes like Spider-Man and the X-Men, they'd freak if they ever saw us. Does that make this any harder to believe?"

A grin split Mikey's face as he wiggled out from under Raph's arm. "Thanks Raph!"

He turned back to his red sashed brother one last time. "Hey Raph? How come penguins are, like, the only bird that can't fly? Seems kinda weird to me."

Raph shook his head as Donnie walked in. "Nah, penguins are just pretending they can't fly. Throw one off a building someday and you can see for yourself."

Mike grinned, turning away and not noticing Donnie's eyes growing rapidly wider as the conversation progressed. Once Mikey was gone Don sat next to Raph who had changed the channel to ESPN.

"Do you know it takes me weeks to unteach what you teach him?" he muttered annoyedly.

Raph shrugged, the smirk was back. "Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

**…**

**A/N: That was weird. Hope everyone liked it though :P**


End file.
